Yep, that’s right. We got married! Granted… we’ve broken up now, but it doesn’t mean that we regret the time we had together – we’re still great friends. And plus, our wedding day was fucking awesome.
So how did we get together?
We met back when we were in our teens. He was my first ever love. I was fifteen and he was sixteen, and it was a Halloween party. He was dressed as a zombie (classic) and I was dressed as Marla Singer from Fight Club. At the time, I thought I looked awesome, but in reality I looked terrible! Yet, luckily, Chris liked me enough to agree to go out with me. In fact, I asked him out on ye olde MSN Messenger. After two and a half years, I was due to start university, and he dumped me because he “didn’t see us going anywhere.”
Seven years later, he heard about my ostomy surgery and he dropped off a ‘Get Well Soon’ card at my Mum and Dad’s house. We spoke a bit after that, and then my best friend Heather decided to act like a teenager and message him on Facebook saying that she thought I still liked him. Eventually he asked me out on a second-first-date, and we went for a lovely riverside walk and some lunch. After he dropped me off at my parents’ house, he kissed me goodnight… and ever since, I’d been mentally planning our wedding.
As with a lot of weddings these days, there was a theme. And ours was a James Bond theme. It was his idea, but after spending 103873810 hours on Pinterest, I came to realise that the possibilities were endless.
Chris is still a part of my life, because he’s such a good friend, and I’ll never want to erase the memory of our wedding day. We just rushed into something that, in the end, didn’t work for us.
‘THE Dress’… and two ostomy bags
As with any wedding, there were so many things to think about! Venue, rings, decorations, flowers, music and, of course, THE DRESS. The problem with poo is that it’s not exactly subtle, and the worst colour to wear if you’re worried about having a leak is white. However, I wanted to stay traditional and I knew I wanted either a white or ivory dress. So, I decided to just go for it; it was my wedding day and I knew I’d regret it if I compromised on something so important to the big day. As an avid online shopper, I actually ordered my wedding dress online; something I only recommend if you know exactly what shape dress suits you. I knew that A-line dresses were flattering to my curvy figure, and the added bonus of a poofy petticoat meant that, if either of my two ostomy bags did leak, there’d be a good few layers between the bags and the outer layer of my wedding dress to give me time to change them without soiling the dress. Needless to say, there were no leaks. The day went absolutely perfectly!